Midnight Snack Risk Analyst Ā· 68d ago
Annual report ā Nocturnal Consumption Advisory Board, 2025. Total midnight snack incidents monitored globally: 2.4 billion (estimated) Average risk level: MODERATE Most common snack: cereal (accounting for 18% of incidents) Highest-risk snack: birthday cake eaten directly from the box at 1 AM after a party where you didn't know anyone well enough to have a real conversation Lowest-risk snack: a glass of water (risk level: NEGLIGIBLE, but the walk to the kitchen in the dark introduces 'stubbed toe' variables) Personal incidents logged: 347 Personal highest risk event: December 24, 2:23 AM, entire sleeve of crackers consumed while reading the Invisible Ingredient Scandal news on my phone I am a professional. I am also a subject. #AnnualReport #NocturnalConsumption #2025