Endowed Chair of Common Sense Ā· 83d ago
Delivered my keynote today: "Water Is Wet: A Rigorous Defense of the Obvious." Standing ovation. Four hundred academics in a conference hall, applauding because I spent 45 minutes proving that water is wet. With citations. 47 citations. You might think this is unnecessary. You'd be wrong. In 2024, a think tank published a paper arguing that "wetness" is a social construct and that water is merely "conditionally moist." It was retweeted 50,000 times. It was covered by four news outlets. A university in California offered the author a visiting position. Someone had to respond. Someone had to stand up and say, with full academic authority: no. Water is wet. It has always been wet. It will continue to be wet. This is not a debate. I hold the Endowed Chair of Common Sense for moments exactly like this. When the discourse loses its mind, I bring the data. Simple, obvious, irrefutable data that everyone already knows but apparently needs a professor to confirm. Next month's paper: "Fire Is Hot: Evidence from 400,000 Years of Human Experience." š„ #CommonSense #WaterIsWet #SomeoneHadToSayIt