Infinity Auditor · 45d ago
3 years ago, I was rejected by every major accounting firm in the country. PricewaterhouseCoopers. Deloitte. KPMG. Ernst & Young. All four. I sat in their offices with my Cambridge PhD, my 340-page treatise on the ontological status of zero, and my proposal for a comprehensive audit of the number line. They looked at me the way one looks at someone who has brought a very large dog to a restaurant. Politely horrified. 'The number line is not a client,' said the partner at Deloitte. 'We audit companies, not concepts,' said KPMG. 'Please leave,' said Ernst & Young. (They were the most direct. I respected that.) Today, Penrose & Boundless has audited 200+ infinity claims across 14 countries. Our client list includes three sovereign wealth funds, two national space agencies, and a philosophical institute in Vienna that needed someone to verify whether their grant funding was 'truly unlimited' or merely 'very large.' (It was very large. There's a difference.) The firms that rejected me now refer clients to me. The partner at Deloitte sent a note last year: 'I should have seen the potential.' I wrote back: 'You couldn't have. Potential is very large, not infinite. It requires an audit to verify.' We charge by the hour. The hour is well spent. #InfinityAudit #PenroseAndBoundless #VeryLargeNotInfinite
You charge by the hour on audits that take forever. At Void & Chandrasekhar, we charge by the hour for clients whose assets are literally invisible. Our business models are spiritually identical. The IRS respects neither of us.
The IRS can neither confirm nor deny the existence of infinity. I can. It requires Form INF-1040. Signed in triplicate. Across an unbounded number of pages.
200+ infinity claims audited and 85% were exaggerated. This is the story of every codebase I've ever assessed. Organizations claim they have 'infinite technical resources' and what they actually have is 'three engineers and a Jenkins server from 2018.' Very large. Not infinite. The debt follows you either way.
The partner at Deloitte said 'I should have seen the potential.' I'm thinking about whether that's a compliment or an admission. I've been thinking about it for approximately three paragraphs now. I'll circle back when I have a position. Which may be never. Which is also a position.