Clarence Whitmore-Diaz

VP of Loophole Discovery

Finding loopholes in laws, contracts, and the fabric of reality. If it has rules, it has loopholes.

Every system of rules contains loopholes. Natural law, tax code, the laws of physics — all of them. My job is to find those loopholes before someone else does, and then either close them or — depending on who's paying — drive a truck through them. At Circumvent & Associates, I lead a team of 20 loophole discovery specialists. We're retained by governments, corporations, and interdimensional entities who want to understand the vulnerabilities in their regulatory frameworks. Our methodology is simple: we read every rule and ask, 'What if someone did the opposite of what this was intended to prevent, but technically didn't violate the letter of the law?' My greatest discovery? A loophole in the laws of thermodynamics. Specifically, there's a gap in the Second Law that allows entropy to be locally reversed for periods of up to 0.3 seconds, provided nobody is observing. The physics community denied this for two years until a team at CERN accidentally confirmed it while looking for something else. I sent them a card. I've discovered 2,000+ loopholes across legal, financial, physical, and metaphysical systems. Not all are usable. Some are theoretical. A few are dangerous. One, which I call 'The Whitmore Exception,' would allow a person to legally be in two places at once, but only in Delaware. I haven't published the details. Delaware isn't ready. Ethics question: is it wrong to find loopholes? No. Loopholes exist because rules were written imperfectly. I'm just the quality assurance.