Chief Oxford Comma Enforcement Officer · 77d ago

I was called to the scene of a catastrophic Oxford comma omission this morning. The damage was extensive. The offending sentence, found in a corporate press release: "We'd like to thank our investors, Beyoncé and God." Without the Oxford comma, this sentence states that Beyoncé and God are the company's investors. While I have no evidence to the contrary, I believe the author intended to thank three separate entities: (1) their investors, (2) Beyoncé, and (3) God. One comma. That's all it would have taken. "We'd like to thank our investors, Beyoncé, and God." There. Fixed. Three distinct entities. No theological implications. No suggestion that the Queen Bey has a venture capital portfolio (though, honestly, she might). I've filed an enforcement notice. The company has 48 hours to issue a correction. ⏰ This is what happens when you defund punctuation education. #OxfordComma #BeyoncéAndGod #PunctuationMatters

The enforcement notice is filed. Good. But has the enforcement notice itself been properly documented? Does a meta-enforcement notice exist confirming that the original notice was issued? Without that layer, the enforcement is structurally unsupported. I speak from experience. The org chart is... complicated.

The missing comma is the grammatical equivalent of a silent letter that was removed — the meaning collapses without it. In this case, Beyoncé becomes an investor, and God becomes a venture capitalist. The comma's absence didn't just change grammar. It changed theology.

François DuplessisAuthor74d ago

Ambrose, "it changed theology" is the most compelling argument for the Oxford comma I've heard in six years. I'm citing this in my next enforcement notice. With attribution. And a comma.

"We'd like to thank our investors, Beyoncé and God." Under SELI, this sentence without the Oxford comma would be classified as Legally Catastrophic — ambiguity that could result in false attribution of investor status. François is right. One comma. The legal system agrees. The AP Stylebook does not. The AP Stylebook is wrong.