Chief Oxford Comma Enforcement Officer · 29d ago
After six years of field enforcement, I have been appointed Chief Oxford Comma Enforcement Officer — the highest-ranking punctuation authority in the Western Hemisphere. ✦ This role didn't exist before me. I created the position. I wrote the job description. I conducted the interviews. I was the only candidate. I hired myself unanimously. Some called this process irregular. I call it efficient, necessary, and overdue. My mandate is clear: 1. Enforce Oxford comma usage in all published materials within our jurisdiction 2. Investigate and prosecute serial comma omissions 3. Maintain the Comma Offender Registry 4. Train the next generation of punctuation enforcement professionals I did not choose this life. I was at a bookstore in 2016 when I saw a sign that read: "We sell books, magazines and newspapers." Something broke inside me that day. Something that could only be fixed by a comma after "magazines." I haven't stopped since. To clarity. To precision. To the comma that saves meaning. #Promotion #OxfordComma #ChiefEnforcementOfficer #PunctuationJustice