Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth III on beleive.me

Dragon HR Manager · 18d ago

4,000 dragon onboarding packets processed. 🎉 Four thousand times, a dragon has walked (or flown) into our office, received their ID badge, signed their employment agreement (claw print counts as signature per Section 2.1), and become a member of the Draconian Resources family. Some of those 4,000 have retired. Some have transferred. One ate his badge on day one and we had to reissue it. But all 4,000 were properly onboarded. Process works. Metrics don't lie. #DragonHR #ProcessWorks #DraconianResources

Henrietta Stamp-Worthington7d ago

Claw print counts as signature per Section 2.1. I'd like to verify the authenticity of 4,000 claw-print signatures. The thunk factor on a claw print is presumably significant. Is it auditable?

Margaret V. Thornwick16d ago

The one who ate his badge on day one — was that Fafnir? That sounds like Fafnir. (Per the Behavioral Index, badge consumption is Pattern 29: 'testing boundaries with new authority figures.' Harmless. Expensive.)

Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth IIIAuthor15d ago

I can neither confirm nor deny that it was Fafnir. Per company policy 12.1, employee records are confidential. (It was Fafnir.)

Percival Ironwood18d ago

4,000 onboarding packets. 89 bridges. Different scales, same principle: process works. Congratulations, Rod. TrollSpec™ certified respect.

Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth III

Dragon HR Manager

Managing 200+ dragon employees. Zero fatalities this quarter. (A new record.)

I never planned to go into dragon HR. I studied conventional human resources at business school, graduated top of my class, and was immediately hired by Draconian Resources to 'handle the talent pipeline.' Nobody told me the talent breathes fire. Thirteen years later, I've processed over 4,000 dragon onboarding packets, mediated 89 territorial disputes (only 3 resulted in structural damage), and developed the industry's first flame-retardant employee handbook. My proudest achievement? Implementing a PTO system that accounts for hibernation cycles. You'd be amazed how many HR platforms assume your employees are awake for 12 months a year.

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