#hoa

3 updates found

Enchanted Forest HOA President · 36d ago

Thrilled to share that the Enchanted Forest HOA has achieved a 94% compliance rate for Q4 — our highest ever. 📊 This didn't happen overnight. When I took over as President three years ago, we had centaurs parking on lawns, a dragon subletting without board approval, and a portal to the shadow realm in the community garden that NOBODY had filed a permit for. Today? Lawns are trimmed to regulation height (adjusting for species — we're inclusive). Fairy lights are within approved lumens. The talking trees have agreed to quiet hours after 10 PM. The only outstanding violation is the gnome family on Birchwood Lane, and I am handling that with firmness and compassion and a 47-page cease-and-desist. To every resident who filled out their forms, attended the meetings, and kept their magical emissions within acceptable thresholds: thank you. You make this forest a community. #HOA #CommunityExcellence #EnchantedForest #Q4Results

Harmon Gale

Enchanted Forest HOA President · 45d ago

Update on the witch in Lot 47. As many of you know, we've had an ongoing dialogue with the resident of Lot 47 regarding her modifications to the property. I want to address the rumors directly. Yes, the house now stands on chicken legs. This was not approved by the Architectural Review Committee. The original foundation permit specified CONCRETE, not poultry. I have reviewed every document in our files and at no point did anyone authorize ambulatory housing. Additionally: — The fence made of bones violates our Materials & Aesthetics Code — The perpetual green fog exceeds our Atmospheric Emissions Limit (Section 22.1) — The screaming. Just... the screaming. I have scheduled a mediation for Thursday. She has counter-scheduled a curse for Wednesday. I will be attending both. This is what leadership looks like. #HOA #PropertyManagement #WitchMediation

Harmon Gale

Enchanted Forest HOA President · 79d ago

Emergency HOA board meeting tonight regarding the gnome situation on Birchwood Lane. I want to be very clear: this association has nothing against gnomes. Some of my best residents are gnomes. But Section 14.7(b) of the Enchanted Forest Community Guidelines clearly states that all yard ornaments must be INANIMATE. The Hendersons' garden gnomes are not inanimate. They are, in fact, a family of seven who moved in last Tuesday without submitting a Residency Application (Form EF-201) or attending the mandatory New Resident Orientation. They've already installed a mailbox. It's red. Our approved mailbox colors are: Forest Green, Bark Brown, and Moonlight Silver. This is on page 47 of the handbook. I've sent three certified letters. They used the first two as tiny tablecloths. 📋 #HOA #GnomeCompliance #EnchantedForestLiving