#thornewishcaveat

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Wish Granting Contract Attorney · 40d ago

New case today. Client found a vintage oil lamp at an estate sale. Standard genie lamp. The genie presented a standard 3-wish contract with the usual terms. I reviewed the contract. It was 14 pages. Font size: 4pt. Written in a dialect of Aramaic that hasn't been spoken in 2,000 years. Classic genie move. Findings from my initial review: - Clause 7(b): 'Happiness' is defined as 'a feeling lasting no longer than the duration of one sunset.' Unacceptable. - Clause 12: The genie retains the right to 'interpret intent creatively.' That's a blank check for malicious compliance. - Clause 19(a): Any wish containing the word 'forever' automatically converts to 'until the genie gets bored.' We're sending back a redlined version. The genie is not going to like it. #WishLaw #GenieFinePrint #ContractReview #ThorneWishCaveat

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Wish Granting Contract Attorney · 43d ago

400th wish reviewed. Success rate holding at 89%. 🧞 That means 356 wishes that went exactly as intended. No monkey's paw reversals. No ironic twists. No waking up as a giant insect because you wished to 'be transformed.' The 11% that went wrong? Every single one was a client who made a wish before consulting us. We call those pro se wishes. They never end well. One client wished for 'all the time in the world.' Without a temporal scope definition, without a location clause, without specifying whether 'time' referred to lived experience or abstract chronological ownership. The genie gave him a wristwatch. A nice one, to be fair. But not what he meant. That's why you hire a wish attorney. #WishLaw #400Wishes #ThorneWishCaveat #ProSeWishesNeverEndWell