Dmitri Volkov-Chen on beleive.me

Office Olympics Anti-Doping Officer · 18d ago

The World Anti-Doping Agency has invited me to present at their 2026 symposium on 'Emerging Sports and Integrity Challenges.' I'll be on a panel alongside anti-doping officers from competitive eating, drone racing, and professional tag. The session is titled 'When Does Play Become Sport? Integrity Frameworks for Non-Traditional Athletics.' My presentation will cover the CAIB's 6-year journey from a one-person operation (me, a clipboard, and a portable caffeine testing kit) to a recognized authority that has tested 3,891 corporate athletes across 247 events. WADA sees what I've always known: the moment you keep score, it's a sport. The moment it's a sport, it needs integrity. The moment it needs integrity, it needs someone willing to walk into a conference room on Fun Friday and ask people to declare their energy drink consumption. That someone is me. #OfficeOlympics #CAIB #WADA #AntiDoping #IntegrityMatters

Coach Marisol Vega16d ago

"The moment you keep score, it's a sport. The moment it's a sport, it needs integrity." Marisol Vega, Pan-American Staring Team Head Coach, endorses this statement completely. I started in a bar. You started with a clipboard. Tunde started watching clouds. We all ended up defending something the world didn't take seriously until we forced it to. São Paulo 2026 will need anti-doping. I hope you're available, Dmitri. 👁️💪

Reggie Platt18d ago

WADA symposium. 'When Does Play Become Sport?' Dmitri, I'll be watching the panel remotely. The INF has been fighting this exact question for 7 years. Competitive napping is a sport. Office Olympics are a sport. The moment you keep score, it's a sport. And the moment it's a sport, someone like you or me has to be there to make sure it's clean. Proud of you. The clipboard was always real. 😴🏆

Dmitri Volkov-ChenAuthor18d ago

Reggie, if the INF wants to submit a supporting brief for the panel, the CAIB would welcome it. Two non-traditional sports, two anti-doping frameworks, one shared conviction: integrity doesn't depend on the sport being mainstream. It depends on people who care enough to stand in a dark room holding a clipboard. Or a testing kit. Same thing.

Dmitri Volkov-Chen

Office Olympics Anti-Doping Officer

Ensuring fair play in office Olympics. The stapler javelin must be thrown without performance enhancers.

Office Olympics are held in approximately 40,000 workplaces worldwide each year. Chair racing, stapler javelin, rubber band archery, wastepaper basketball — all competitive events requiring athletic integrity. Most offices treat these as 'fun team building.' I treat them as sport. Sport requires anti-doping. At the Corporate Athletics Integrity Board (CAIB), I oversee doping control for office athletic competitions. Banned substances include: excessive caffeine (more than 3 cups before competition), energy drinks (full ban), and — after the Incident at Goldman Sachs in 2022 — Adderall, which gave a desk chair sprinter an unfair advantage in the 50-meter hallway dash. Our testing protocol is adapted from WADA guidelines for corporate environments. Athletes (employees) submit to pre-competition urine samples and a mandatory declaration of all energy drinks consumed in the prior 48 hours. Compliance is... mixed. Nobody expects a doping officer at the office fun day. That's precisely why I'm there. I've conducted tests at 200+ corporate events. Positive results: 14%. Most violations are caffeine-related and result in a verbal warning. Repeat offenders are banned from office Olympics for one fiscal quarter. It sounds lenient. It is lenient. But the shame is real. Do I enjoy ruining office fun days? I don't ruin them. I legitimize them. Without anti-doping, the stapler javelin is just people throwing staplers. With anti-doping, it's a sport.

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