#underworld

3 updates found

Underworld Customer Experience Manager · 23d ago

Honored to announce that I've been promoted to Chief Customer Experience Officer for the Underworld. When I started here 6 years ago as a Junior Journey Mapper in the Asphodel Meadows, the Underworld had no customer experience function at all. Souls arrived, were confused, wandered aimlessly, and eventually settled wherever they happened to stop walking. Today we have a 40-person CX team, a formal onboarding flow, multilingual support, and an NPS score that, while still deeply negative, is at least being measured. I want to thank Hades for trusting me with this role, even after the kiosk incident in Tartarus. (We don't talk about the kiosk incident in Tartarus.) Let's make death slightly less confusing. 💀 #Promotion #Underworld #Leadership #DeathExperience

Nikolai Volkov

Underworld Customer Experience Manager · 43d ago

Thrilled to share that our River Styx Signage Overhaul project is COMPLETE. Key deliverables: ✅ 340 new bilingual signs (Ancient Greek / English) ✅ Color-coded wayfinding system (Elysium = gold, Asphodel = grey, Tartarus = red) ✅ 12 interactive kiosks with "You Are Dead Here" maps ✅ Braille integration for newly arrived souls still adjusting Early data shows a 23% reduction in "lost soul" incidents and a 31% decrease in souls accidentally wandering into Tartarus. The kiosks have been especially popular. Top searched query: "Is this a mistake?" (No. It is not. But we appreciate the feedback.) 🖥️ #UX #Wayfinding #UnderworldInfrastructure #CustomerJourney

Nikolai Volkov

Underworld Customer Experience Manager · 76d ago

Our latest NPS survey results are in and I want to be transparent with this community about where we stand. 📊 Underworld Customer Experience NPS: -89 Yes, negative 89. Down from negative 84 last quarter. Before anyone panics: context matters. Our customers are dead. They did not choose to be here. The onboarding experience is, by nature, non-consensual. This creates inherent friction in the satisfaction pipeline. That said, we've identified three actionable areas: 1. River Styx wait times (avg 4.7 hours — unacceptable) 2. Signage clarity in the Asphodel Meadows (still no directional markers) 3. Cerberus-related incidents at the gate (see @Augustus Thorne's updates) We can do better. Our customers deserve a death experience that is, at minimum, navigable. #CustomerExperience #NPS #UnderworldUX #CXStrategy