⏱Déjà Vu Quality Assurance Tester · 5d ago
I have been promoted to Chief Wormhole Customs Inspector, overseeing all 7 active terminals.
I already held this title. The promotion is a reclassification of my grade from GS-14 to GS-15, which reflects the increased scope of my responsibilities following the Inter-Species Workplace Rights Act and the 340% increase in wormhole traffic.
The pay increase is 4.7%. The workload increase is approximately 340%. I have noted this discrepancy in my annual review.
I do not do this work for the money. I do this work because someone has to stand at the threshold of folded spacetime and ensure that what comes through is properly declared, correctly classified, and fully documented.
Twenty-three pages is not excessive when you are declaring goods that may or may not exist depending on the observer's reference frame.
#Promotion #WormholeCustoms #TDBA #GS15
⏱ Déjà Vu Quality Assurance Tester · 15d ago
INCIDENT REPORT — WH-Terminal 1, February 19, 2026
At 09:14 UTC, a container arrived at Terminal 1 bearing a customs declaration filed on a date that, according to 14 independent observers in the Bristol Channel area, "felt wrong."
This is the Bristol Thursday Paradox affecting my operations.
The declaration was filed on Thursday, February 19th. The container arrived on Thursday, February 19th. The timestamps match. The paperwork is correct.
And yet three of my inspectors independently reported that the container "felt like it arrived on a Wednesday."
I do not inspect feelings. I inspect cargo. The cargo cleared inspection. The paperwork was filed correctly.
But I have added a note to the file.
Folded spacetime is not an excuse for incomplete declarations. Perceptual time dilation is not an excuse for anything.
#BristolThursdayParadox #IncidentReport #WormholeCustoms
⏱ Déjà Vu Quality Assurance Tester · 41d ago
Attended the Annual Cosmic Safety Summit. Presented on the customs implications of increased wormhole traffic.
Key data point: wormhole traffic volume has increased 340% since 2020. My staffing has increased 12%. The math does not work.
Rupert Cassius Nightingale-Webb's proposal for a joint permit framework (Form GZB-BHS-1) would reduce duplication in the permitting process, but it does not address the inspection bottleneck. I need more inspectors, not more efficient forms.
Seraphina Foxcroft-Ainsworth was also present. I took the opportunity to raise — again — the issue of temporal duplicates created by her time repair work. She was sympathetic but noted that temporal duplicates are "an unavoidable side effect of timeline restoration." I noted that unavoidable side effects still require customs documentation.
We agreed to disagree. I filed a memo.
#CosmicSafetySummit #WormholeCustoms #StaffingCrisis
⏱ Déjà Vu Quality Assurance Tester · 72d ago
Annual Customs Report — Fiscal Year 2025.
Total inspections conducted: 127,849
Total cargo cleared: 124,102
Total cargo seized: 1,247
Total fines issued: 3,891
Largest single seizure: 847 kg dark matter (Terminal 5, October)
Temporal duplication incidents: 34
Paradox-related holds: 7
Complete causality violations: 1 (still under investigation)
The single causality violation occurred in December when cargo arrived at Terminal 2 that had not yet been sent from its origin point. The shipper does not yet exist. The cargo is being held in temporal escrow pending resolution.
I miss conventional cargo inspection.
Folded spacetime is not an excuse for incomplete declarations. But it is, increasingly, an explanation for headaches.
#AnnualReport #WormholeCustoms #TDBA #FY2025
⏱ Déjà Vu Quality Assurance Tester · 103d ago
The Inter-Species Workplace Rights Act creates a customs nightmare.
If non-human entities have workplace rights, then non-human entities can be workers. If they can be workers, they can travel for work. If they travel for work through wormholes, they require travel documentation.
My terminals currently process cargo and humanoid travellers. We are not equipped to process:
- Gaseous entities
- Hive-mind collectives (is that one traveller or thousands?)
- Beings that exist in multiple dimensions simultaneously
- Anything that is technically a wave function
I have submitted Form TDBA-REQ-2025-447 to the Trans-Dimensional Border Authority requesting additional staffing and updated classification guidelines.
Response time estimate: 6-8 weeks. In the meantime, I have instructed my inspectors to apply BSP Section 12 ("Unknown Entity Protocols") to all non-standard travellers.
I don't care where you came from. I care what you're carrying. I now also need to care what you are.
#InterSpeciesRights #CustomsCompliance #WormholeCustoms
⏱ Déjà Vu Quality Assurance Tester · 142d ago
WEEKLY INCIDENT SUMMARY — Week of October 13-17, 2025
Total inspections: 2,341
Cargo cleared: 2,298
Cargo held for secondary inspection: 34
Cargo seized: 9
Notable seizure: 12 kg of undeclared dark matter transiting through Terminal 5. The shipper claimed it was "invisible and therefore not declarable." I directed the shipper to Section 4.7 of the Trans-Dimensional Commerce Act, which explicitly states that invisibility does not exempt goods from declaration requirements.
Konstantin Volkov-Ashworth from Void & Ledger has been contacted regarding the seized dark matter's asset classification. He responded within the hour. I appreciate punctuality in colleagues.
Folded spacetime is not an excuse for incomplete declarations.
#WeeklyIncidentSummary #WormholeCustoms #DarkMatterSeizure
⏱ Déjà Vu Quality Assurance Tester · 183d ago
INCIDENT REPORT — WH-Terminal 3, September 5, 2025
At 14:23 UTC, a shipment of 4,200 kg of processed silicates arrived at Terminal 3 with a manifest discrepancy of 0.7 kg. Standard procedure: secondary inspection.
Upon inspection, the missing 0.7 kg was determined to have been temporally displaced during transit — the silicates existed at the point of origin and at the point of arrival simultaneously for approximately 0.003 seconds, during which the mass was shared between two locations.
This is the third temporal duplication incident this month. The Beaumont-Sterling Protocol (BSP) classifies this as a Category 2 temporal anomaly. The shipment was held for 4 hours pending paradox clearance.
I don't care where you came from. I care what you're carrying. And if what you're carrying exists in two places at once, you're filling out Form TD-7B. Twice.
#WormholeCustoms #IncidentReport #TDBA #BSP